American Idol a Terrorist Front?

LOS ANGELES, CA –  Everyone’s favorite so-called “talent” show (that nobody seems to watch) is continuing its decade-long stranglehold on America’s television ratings. But after ten seasons and six different judges, American Idol may have finally gone too far–and the nation’s security could be at risk.

Many viewers know that American Idol started in the UK as Pop Idol. However, few realize that the show’s roots can be traced deeper to a nationally-broadcast singing contest in Indonesia known as Dephfir Tng-Ka, roughly translated as “Survival of Singers.” Although the Indonesian program bares little resemblance to the Fox mega hit (aside from an inordinate amount of Coca-Cola product placement), an important connection was revealed on Monday.

Each week, millions of viewers call Fox’s toll-free number to vote for their favorite performer. The roughly twelve million phone calls and text messages are received at Jayakarta Djakarta, a call center in Jakarta, Indonesia, according to Tenkrit San Phosphani, an NPR correspondent reporting on mass media in Southeast Asia. “It’s a madhouse,” says Phosphani. “It’s hard to believe that [the call center] can handle so many callers.”

And over the course of the season, the call center boasts only a 2% margin of error. How can this be? “Our workers are trained to handle many calls at a time,” says Detabek Jabodetabek, co-manager of Jayakarta Djakarta. The center is also responsible for calculating the results of Indonesia’s national and regional free elections. But in January 2010, ASEAN Secretary General Surin Pitsuwan called Indonesia’s national elections, “fraud beyond all known uses of the word.” So why does Fox rely on Indonesia for its vote counting?

The answer lies in an overlooked part of the USA Patriot Act and the deceitful actions of News Corporation CEO Rupert Murdoch. In a 2006 interview, Fox president Kevin Reilly revealed that he, Murdoch (an Australian by birth), and Fox chairman Peter Rice invested close to 3 billion dollars in Detabek Jabodetabek in 2001, just months before the premier of American Idol. Why would Fox be interested in funding an Indonesian call center? “The American government monitors all international telephone messages,” says Phosphani. “However, they ignore international SMS [text] messages sent to toll-free numbers.” Therefore, says Phosphani, rogue agents in the USA could easily transmit classified information to Indonesia during American Idol telecasts. Once the information reaches Detabek Jabodetabek, it is out of the eyes of the United States government.

But why would Fox want to help terrorists plot against America? “It’s all part of their big plan to take over the world,” says Caleb Ductko, member of Americans Against American Idol (AAAI), a non-profit group dedicated to exposing the truth behind the facade of the reality show. “Murdoch’s a foreigner, and he’s been after the USA ever since he became Fox’s CEO,” says Ductko. With millions of calls streaming to Indonesia every Tuesday during live American Idol performances, terrorists can send their secret documents without interference.

So is the show a complete farce? Not so, says Ductko. “Some of those people can really sing, but most of them are just anti-government agents hand-picked by Murdoch.” Jennifer Hudson, Ruben Studdard, and season four runner-up Bo Bice are among those listed by the AAAI as anti-American spies. But Ductko insists that William Hung is not a terrorist. “He can’t sing worth spit, but he’s one patriotic SOB,” says Ductko.

About Kipp Beansworth

Kipp Beansworth is The Shockuation Rooms's entertainment and pop-culture correspondent. He has several elaborate theories involving pop culture and the McKinley assassination, all of which are available on request. Kipp began his professional life as a veterinarian. In time, however, his affection for writing, popular culture, and television eclipsed his veterinary ambitions. He shoved his feline cadavers in the back of the closet, gave their living-room space to DVD sets of Three's Company, and never looked back. Although he hasn't owned a television set in nearly three decades, Kipp has recapped several hundred hours of programming — including both Citizen Kane movies, for which he did not receive hazard pay. Since 2011, he has been a contributor to the Shockuation Room, where he has written about books, movies, television and pop-culture miscellany. Kipp's work has also appeared in Ferrets Magazine, Paranoia Magazine, and in many, many veterinary medical journals. Kipp lives in Burbank, CA., where he devotes himself to his grand-nieces, Scrabble, and perfecting his plan to build the world's best rollercoaster.
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3 Responses to American Idol a Terrorist Front?

  1. Frankie says:

    I heard that Paula Abdul was the MASTERMIND behind this whole Terror Ring.

  2. Kipp Beansworth says:

    Frankie,
    It’s funny that you should mention it. When I was interviewing members of Americans Against American Idol (AAAI), there was a vocal minority that wanted me to talk about something they called the “Abdul Factor.” They believed that Abdul’s hit single “Straight Up” has predicted the winners of the last five U.S. presidential elections.

  3. mikerosss says:

    Keep posting stuff like this i really like it

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