Leyland Gets Contract Extension Tigers to Promptly Tank Season

Cleveland, OH- Tuesday the Detroit Tigers’ skipper received a one year contract extension, the Tigers held up their end of the deal by losing in the 14th inning to the second place Cleveland Indians. “The way I look at it is we’ve been in first place for about a month, which is about long enough. I got my extension now so we can relax and blow it down the stretch like we have the past four seasons,” Leyland said while smoking three cigarettes at once. Leyland continued, “If you think about it we have this three game series with Cleveland in Cleveland, we get swept there no problem. The lead is down to what two games at that point? Either way, we play them in about a week, so we can finish the lead off then. Plus, you have to factor in a Brad Penny start in that week or ten days, which is a loss for sure. When Penny pitches I don’t even make the lineup, I ask a random child on the street to pick the lineup, sometimes I get a stray Batman or Superman, I just put Raburn in for those. Don’t even ask me why I wouldn’t try pitching our rookie Jacob Turner.”

Leyland also plans on saving a spot for Brandon Inge who is currently in the minors and is batting a stellar .177 this season.

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