Scientists Suspect World’s Largest Woman Actually Eddie Murphy

Scientists are saying this week that the current Guinness World Record holder for world’s largest woman may actually be Eddie Murphy in prosthetic makeup. Though they have gathered no solid DNA proof, hundreds of hours of video footage have been sifted through and analyzed with a fine toothed comb.

Edna Clump, the L.W. in question, is a 62 year old stay at home wife. Her husband, who wished only to be referred to as “Papa Clump,” only had this to say. “As long as I pay the bills, I do what I want at this table [farts].” Over the course of four months, analysis has proved that the flatulence being passed during dinnertime was deemed too comical to be “real life.”

Further data has shown that this isn’t the first time Mr. Murphy has pulled something like this. Samples from as far back as 1988’s Coming to America have supported the theory that he has used makeup and computer enhancements to alter his image so drastically that he is able to dupe an entire continent about his identity.

Although there is still a long way to go in research and technological advancements, scientists are confident in investing more time, money, and effort into the issue. They also haven’t ruled out completely the fact that this woman in question could very well be Martin Lawrence. “Not in Big Mama’s House.”

This entry was posted in Breaking News and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply