Atlanta, GA- In 2010 Pantech a company no one has ever heard of and no one could care less about released their new phone the Pantech Link. It is without a doubt the crappiest phone anyone could buy. Pantech is a South Korean company with its wireless headquarters in Atlanta. I went there to have a few words with their founder.
Beyong-Yeop Park, the founder and CEO rushed out of the office building when I pulled into the nearly deserted parking lot screaming in an almost incomprehensible whirl all newish slang and foreign who knows whats its.
“Hello! It’s so nice since the last time we talked! How are you doing today, Mr. Rush?”
“Good. Grand, terrific, wonderful. Splendid, outstanding, happier than cat at a bowl of milk, sweeter than sugar, high as a kite.” I said.
“Oh, that’s great, because your tone and face makes you look unhappy.” Said Park.
Oh, that’s because everything I just said is a lie. A down right lie. I’m sick of it. Your phone completely blows. Everything about it is terrible. There isn’t one good feature about it, AT ALL!”
“Not only could it be enough that I completely despise this phone with all my heart, but it goes one step farther… IT BREAKS ITSELF!!!!!!!!!!”
Park quivered nervously, “Oh, well, I am sorry. The Pantech Link is obviously a very good phone. It wouldn’t break itself, it doesn’t have a self destruct button.”
“Oh, it doesn’t? Then please tell me what’s going on in these series of pictures.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket, there was nothing in the pocket with it. I hadn’t even leaned against anything the entire day. I pulled the stupid phone out and it was off. I thought, hmm that’s odd. So, I turned it on and bam… THIS GUY!!!!
Day 1 of Phone Break
So, I try to make it work. You know, give it another day see what happens. It really still doesn’t work there Park, anyway this is what I woke up to on day four” I said.
Pantech Sucks Day 4
Pretty great huh? I love it.
Park was getting very nervous and managed to mumble out, “oh yes, that’s very unfortunate, very sorry, very. Maybe it get better?”
“Oh, like later in the day Mr. Park??”
“Yes!” said Park.
Check out this beauty!!
About 4:30 on Day 4... Absolutely any chance of figuring anything out on your phone completely annihilated. Wonderful, thanks PANTECH!
“Would you like replacement phone?”
“Yes, is it better than a Pantech Link?”
“No, it would have to be a Pantech Link, and we would charge you 200 american dollar.”
Best. Day. Ever.
Stay Tuned
Coyote Rush
