Local Man Takes Another Local Man To The E.R.


A man was asked by another man if he could take him to the E.R. because he has a boil the size of a fist on his side/back. Other man says, “Ok, yeah that thing looks pretty much awful.”

So, instead of going to the E.R. in town he, being the man with a ridiculously large boil, wants to go to an E.R. 45 minutes away. Driving man gets 10 dollars from him for gas. Driving man appreciates this. The drive was of no consequence and was quite boring besides the incessant babbling and complaining of the boil man and the pain of the boil.

Driving man pulls up to the E.R. drops him off, boil man says, “it’s super packed.” Driving man says, “You better get in line then.” Driving man then says, “If it’s that packed I’m going to McDonald’s, getting a small coffee and taking full advantage of their free WI-FI. Good luck!”

The time of this drop off was roughly 1:54 P.M.

Boil man takes forever getting seen.

Driving man plays Angry Birds and makes really stupid posts on Facebook.

Four hours go by…

Driving man starting to be like, “Uh, I’ve been in McDonald’s for a long time.”

Driving man texts boil man and boil man has to have minor surgery. Driving man was like, “Uh, how long is that going to take?”

Boil man- Texts indecipherable.

Driving man- GREAT WEEKEND

Boil man- “If I give you some money will you go get me some food?”

Driving man- “I am not walking through the hospital with no idea where you are to get money from you and then go get food, then walk through the hospital with McDonald’s.”

Boil man- “I will come outside.”

Driving man- “Dude, they are about to do minor surgery on you and you’re just going to come prancing out in a half blizzard? Have they already gave you a shot, because you seem half retarded????”

Boil man- “Yeah, they gave me the maximum dose of Dilaudid.”

Driving man- “Dude, that’s like Morphine’s kid.”

Boil man- “What?”

Driving man- “So, is this a serious thing, you’re going to walk out of the hospital and hand me money, then come back out again and get the food? Like this is seriously what you’re proposing?”

Boil man- “What, I mean, yeah.”

Driving man- “Why don’t you get the dang boil drained and then we can think about food.”

Boil man- “But, I’m so hungry.”

Driving man- “I also said I wanted to be back home at four-ish. And it’s 5:30!”

Boil man- “………………..”

Driving man- In head… “WTF.”

Anyway, the man babbled the whole way home because he was wasted off that shot.

Driving man drove through half blizzard without incident.

Driving man was not pleased when home.

Boil man was very pleased even if he couldn’t walk up his stairs.

At press time someone was writing this story.

-James Dust

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