Apples Slices at McDonald’s? Wtf?

This not just in.

As technology advances, the majority of America continues to get less intelligent, more irresponsible, and increasingly antisocial.  The cause you ask?  Most likely it is the government sending secret hypnotic messages through Netflix and Kanye West to dumb down the populace in order to control them for future…who knows.   As with any good conspiracy, evidence is currently lacking, but some old person smoking knows everything.  One thing we do know for sure, is that K. West is the greatest government agent of all time as he is able to influence and controls millions of Americans through his music and by simply just talking.

Let’s look at a couple of things that are quite annoying.  People and the media keep writing articles and spewing rhetoric that McDonalds and Coke are making them obese and are essentially evil.  Then we hear about people or organizations actually suing these companies because their products make people or themselves obese.  I’m pretty sure they didn’t force feed you those burgers and soda.  I’m not sure how a person can say that they thought that fast food or soda was a great nutritional idea.  I think by now it is common knowledge that soda and fast food are terrible nutritional options.  The truth of the matter is that these type of people or organizations truly need some mental help or, more likely, are just trying to line their pockets.  Everyone knows that McDonalds and Coke are bad for you so stop whining and complaining that they are making you fat.  You may just want to try to not eat there all the time and see what happens.  As for the organizations that continue to target McDonalds, that includes you Yahoo!, how about going after someone else once in a while?  McD’s has changed far more than any other fast food organization such as switching their suppliers, having healthier options(apple slices, wtf?), and putting calorie amounts on their menu (the only fast food place I can think of that does that).  How about you go after other organizations and stop promoting places like Chipotle?  Sure Chipotle is “fresh” ingredients, even though most items are prepped offsite just like many other fast food places, but eating a 2000 calorie burrito and 1000 calorie soda is pretty much the same as getting a meal at McD’s.  Well today I ate a whole large pizza, but it wasn’t McDonalds so I should be alright!  The truth is, America loves McDonalds and they love to hate it, but people will continue to eat there and there is nothing wrong with that as long as it’s in moderation.  People should be able to give their kid a Coke or happy meal.  I mean what the hell is wrong with a happy meal every couple of weeks!?  I read an article the other day about how McDonalds is terrible because happy meals promote obesity to kids.  How about parents don’t let their child eat junk and take them to fast food places every day?  Why is it McDonalds fault that parents are irresponsible?  All McDonalds is doing is selling burgers that people keep buying.  How about people stop pointing the finger at someone else and take some much needed responsibility.

Another prime example is the fact that people like the Kardashians are millionaires and millions of Americans continue to watch them on The television, follow them on “social media,” and buy whatever it is that they sell.  I’m not sure how this is possible other than brainwashing by Agent West.

Social media.  Oh boy here we go.  I’m not sure what the great appeal of social media is.  I mean you get on The Facebook and read about people who you could go visit or call, share all these amazing sayings and post pictures of yourself doing something instead of actually interacting with people live.  Twitter is even more confusing.  Why does anyone need to know what you are doing and what you just did all of the time?  It seems that people talk through devices more than to an actual person nowadays.  Then when people are actual together they hide in their phones and miss out on the long awkward silences that come with visiting an old relative’s house, one you see every six years, during your youth and continuing well forever.

So remember to avoid these influences that are corrupting America, drink all the Coke and eat all the McDonalds you want to avoid future government control!

Stay Shockuated Folks.

Humphrey L. Huckleberry

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