Author Archives: Taffy Hawkley

About Taffy Hawkley

Liking polka dots isn't a full time job.

Single Woman Always Lives Next To Crazy, Braless, Clingy People

Posted on October 4, 2012 by Taffy Hawkley

In an apparent demonstration of “everything bad that can happen, will happen,” the universe has placed a needy, self-involved neighbor right across the hall from recently single woman, Holly Swiss. “This always happens to me. I break up with someone, … Continue reading →

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Poop Buses Descend on Pittsburgh

Posted on October 4, 2012 by Taffy Hawkley

(This is a continuation of Taffy Hawkley’s series on Port Authority) PITTSBURGH, PA – In a further attempt to get people to just stop riding the bus, Port Authority is hiring people to poop on buses to maximize discomfort. “On … Continue reading →

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Miss Universe Mistakenly Thinks Intelligence Matters

Posted on October 7, 2011 by Taffy Hawkley

In a tragic misunderstanding, it was recently discovered that the newly crowned pageant queen Leila Lopes thought her intelligence, ambition, and all-around worldliness brought her the coveted title of Miss Universe 2011. In an exclusive Shockuation interview, Leila told us … Continue reading →

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