Author Archives: Turtledove Lancaster

About Turtledove Lancaster

Turtledove Lancaster started life dancing through the dog shit and tip-toeing through the tulips of Toledo, Oh...After short stints in Helsinki and Geneva, He found himself settled firmly between two large puddles of water in the northern sector of winter mittens, 3 clicks east of San Fransisco, and 5 trots north of a ham sandwich....This unique location gives him unequivocal understanding of the unrelenting underestimated underdog reports often overlooked by the mainstream media outlets. He hates tomatoes, heat, and anything that involves corduroy in any fashion. Take this with as much Salt-N-Pepa as you wish. The truth will flow, the rhetoric will spew, the record will turn.