Tag Archives: funny news

Pantech: “Light-Years Ahead In Changing The Designs of Futility.”

Atlanta, GA- In 2010 Pantech a company no one has ever heard of and no one could care less about released their new phone the Pantech Link. It is without a doubt the crappiest phone anyone could buy. Pantech is … Continue reading

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Members of the House, Senate, and President In Agreeance For First Time!

In a shocking turn of events, members from: the House, the Senate and the President of the United States all said, “Unemployment is too high.” THEY AGREED ON SOMETHING! The entire area around Washington D.C. froze and traffic was held … Continue reading

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Plants, Animals and Insect Lifespans: Shorter or Longer Than A Kardashian Marriage.

Kim Kardashian’s marriage to basketball’s UNsuper star, more like, extremely mediocre player, Kris Humphries lasted a jaw dropping 72 days. How much of that time they: spent together, discussing divorce or counting the money they generated from the marriage is … Continue reading

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Apple Admits New Iphone Sexist

When owners of the new Iphone: cleverly named something like ‘Iphone 4’, use ‘Siri,’ a voice activated personal assistant type thing that can help you do things like: stalk that hot dude that you don’t have the guts to talk … Continue reading

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Gaddafi Dies: Libya Totally Confused

Tripoli, Libya- For months citizens of Libya have rebelled and tried with all their hearts and minds to overthrow the tyrannical dictatorship of Muammar al-Gaddafi and finally saw their dreams become reality. However, with his death comes monumental changes in … Continue reading

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Woman Tries To Earn Extra Money, But Wears Wrong Outfit

Victor, NY- Area woman Tina Tinytoeson, 26, had a bright idea on how to earn a little extra cash. However, sadly, the money she made from substitute teaching came up far short of making up for the pain and anguish … Continue reading

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Politikos Insidiae And Other Things People Pretend To Care About (Part II)

Read Part 1 Nancy leaned back in her black leather office chair that she paid way too much of her own money for, thinking to herself, “a ten pound bag of potatoes huh? Or was it twenty? I never know … Continue reading

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Man Takes Television Commercial Way Too Serious

Boring, Oregon- An area resident named Patches Mcguildersnot, an avid television viewer did something rather unusual. I took the first EVER bullet train in America to get there. Sadly, they don’t exist in the USA, for whatever reason. Unknowingly, I … Continue reading

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Miss Universe Mistakenly Thinks Intelligence Matters

In a tragic misunderstanding, it was recently discovered that the newly crowned pageant queen Leila Lopes thought her intelligence, ambition, and all-around worldliness brought her the coveted title of Miss Universe 2011. In an exclusive Shockuation interview, Leila told us … Continue reading

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Company You’ve Never Heard Of Releases Worst Phone In The Last Five Years

Atlanta, GA- In 2010 Pantech a company no one has ever heard of and no one could care less about released their new phone the Pantech Link. It is without a doubt the crappiest phone anyone could buy. Pantech is … Continue reading

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