Monthly Archives: August 2011

Man Watches Infomercial So Long That Product Seems Viable

Posted on August 11, 2011 by James Dust

Bacon, DE- Local resident, Jeremiah Bologna, 31, was said to watch the Magic Bullet infomercial three times in a row before even noticing he was sitting at the edge of his couch completely enthralled with what was now blaring at … Continue reading →

Posted in Breaking News | Tagged 'End of the World' party at Mick and Mimi's house. It really took me back to my college days, ", "The commercial starts off the morning after this massive like, blaring at top volume on his television at four a.m., Bologna went on for the better part of thirteen hours telling me his favorite parts of the infomercial which turned out to be every single part, but it never does, Hazel and Berman, Hazel is continuously smoking a cigarette that is looming to fall out of her mouth, he is a trip. He stumbles out into the kitchen looking like he drank a half gallon of Heaven Hill vodka. I love it! The rest of the guests proceed to make fun of him being a raging drunk for the rest , his smile never in danger of leaving his face., I couldn't resist becoming a fan. Not only is the product just amazing, it's amazing! She's amazing! And that Berman, Magic Bullet, multiple times. Jeremiah then launched into a thirty-five minute diatribe on how the commercial depicts the need for close friends to have a sleep over at least once a month., of course there would have been more chicks at one of my parties. Anyway, oh man, the guests wake up one by one all hungover and looking ragged. Lucky for them Mimi and Mick are pumped to show them their favorite party accessory- The Magic Bullet!", the people in this commercial are so loveable, When it first came on I couldn't help but think that it was the most ridiculous commercial I had ever seen. But, when they started doing demonstrations of all the things the Magic Bullet could do | Leave a comment

Leyland Gets Contract Extension Tigers to Promptly Tank Season

Posted on August 10, 2011 by Coyote Rush

Cleveland, OH- Tuesday the Detroit Tigers’ skipper received a one year contract extension, the Tigers held up their end of the deal by losing in the 14th inning to the second place Cleveland Indians. “The way I look at it … Continue reading →

Posted in Breaking News | Tagged ", " Leyland said while smoking three cigarettes at once. Leyland continued, "If you think about it we have this three game series with Cleveland in Cleveland, Batman, Cabby, Cleveland, Confused, Detroit, funny, funny news, funny political, got my extension now so we can relax and blow it down the stretch like we have the past four seasons, I ask a random child on the street to pick the lineup, I got my extension now so we can relax and blow it down the stretch like we have the past four seasons, I just put Raburn in for those. Don't even ask me why I wouldn't try pitching our rookie Jacob Turner.", Inge, Justin Marshall, Leyland, Leyland also plans on saving a spot for Brandon Inge who is currently in the minors and is batting a stellar .177 this season. Stay Tuned Tigers Fans! Coyote Rush, Miggy, OH-, Raburn, so we can finish the lead off then. Plus, sometimes I get a stray Batman or Superman, Sports, Superman, Tigers, Tigers held up their end of the deal by losing in the 14th inning to the second place Cleveland Indians., Tuesday the Detroit Tigers' skipper received a one year contract extension, Victor, we get swept there no problem. The lead is down to what two games at that point? Either way, we play them in about a week, which is a loss for sure. When Penny pitches I don't even make the lineup, you have to factor in a Brad Penny start in that week or ten days | Leave a comment

Southwest Suffer From Unseasonably High Temperatures

Posted on August 3, 2011 by James Dust

Phoenix, AZ- A couple awoke to sweat and extreme discomfort as temperatures overnight remained in the low 90’s. “This is so unusual,” said Phoenix resident Julia Johnes, who mentioned that the extra blanket she added three nights ago is so … Continue reading →

Posted in Breaking News | Tagged " mentioned Johnes. That outfit consisted of a bikini top and matching bottoms. Johnes continued, " said Johnes. A celebration for the upcoming changing of seasons was majorly effected by the surprisingly heat wave. All local events celebrating the coming of fall were canceled across the city exce, " said Phoenix resident Julia Johnes, "Lucky for us our jobs and children's schools have been closed by the City, "This is so unusual, According to local news station ABC15 KNXV-TV's weather authority, Amber Sullins, Arizona, blanket, blankets, but 113, citing serious health risks for anyone being outside today.", cold, coldness, couple awoke to sweat and extreme discomfort as temperatures overnight remained in the low 90's., Coyote Rush, even forcing the National Weather Service to issue Excessive Heat Warnings for the area in effect until 8 p.m. Thursday. Record highs have been reported around the city and temperatures will continue , extra blankets, funny, he desert couple is sticking together in this time of need. "I am going to shave my husband's beard today. It's such a shame because he was looking forward to having that beard for those cold nights c, heat, hot, in August, in my opinion, it has to be Global Warming, it will be extremely difficult to take off this time of the year., It's like summer in August!, it's so unusual for temperatures to be in the mid to upper 90s in august, James Dust, Jason Stieler, Justin Marshall, my husband helped me slip out of the hoody I was wearing last night and actually picked out my outfit today, phoenix heat wave, Rhonda Turner, Scottsdale, so hot, Southwest Suffer From Unseasonably High Temperatures, stories, temperatures will remain higher than normal, unfortunately that ended rather abruptly. Shockingly eight minutes after the blocks of ice were delivered to the sculptors they melted for some reasons. The ice sculpting organizer was quoted as sayin, unusual, who mentioned that the extra blanket she added three nights ago is so silky and comfortable, why is it so hot in august in arizona | Leave a comment

Oliver Pepper: Trip To Somalia (From New York City to Still New York City)

Posted on August 2, 2011 by Coyote Rush

Upon further inspection there was nothing that resembled what belonged underneath a normal hood. It looked as if I had opened the hood to find a mythical city. There was a waterfall where the battery belonged, Unicorns frolicked to and … Continue reading →

Posted in Breaking News | Tagged Abdiweli Mohamed Ali, africa, African Union Mission to Somalia, AIDS, AK-47, Al-Shabaab, Djibouti, don't tase me bro, drought, dying babies, famine, Hunger, international welfare, license and registration, Mogadishu, Nuclear Waste, Ogaden War, Oliver Pepper: Trip To Somalia (From New York City to Still New York City), Pirates, Real news, Sharif Sheikh Ahmed, shawshenk traffic stop, sick puppy, Somalia, Terrorism, War, war world, world war II, world war three | 2 Comments

Calendar Of Great Importance
August 2011

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Monthly Archives: August 2011

Man Watches Infomercial So Long That Product Seems Viable

Leyland Gets Contract Extension Tigers to Promptly Tank Season

Southwest Suffer From Unseasonably High Temperatures

Oliver Pepper: Trip To Somalia (From New York City to Still New York City)

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Calendar Of Great Importance