Southwest Suffer From Unseasonably High Temperatures

Phoenix, AZ- A couple awoke to sweat and extreme discomfort as temperatures overnight remained in the low 90’s.

“This is so unusual,” said Phoenix resident Julia Johnes, who mentioned that the extra blanket she added three nights ago is so silky and comfortable, it will be extremely difficult to take off this time of the year.

“It’s like summer in August!”  Johnes quipped.

The desert couple is sticking together in this time of need. “I am going to shave my husband’s beard today. It’s such a shame because he was looking forward to having that beard for those cold nights coming soon. Also, my husband helped me slip out of the hoody I was wearing last night and actually picked out my outfit today,” mentioned Johnes. That outfit consisted of a bikini top and matching bottoms. Johnes continued, “Lucky for us our jobs and children’s schools have been closed by the City, citing serious health risks for anyone being outside today.”

According to local news station ABC15 KNXV-TV’s weather authority, Amber Sullins, temperatures will remain higher than normal, even forcing the National Weather Service to issue Excessive Heat Warnings for the area  in effect until 8 p.m. Thursday. Record highs have been reported around the city and temperatures will continue to threaten records for days to come.

“It’s just not supposed to be this hot here this time of year. In July we could expect heat of maybe 105 or 110, but 113, in August, in my opinion, it has to be Global Warming,”  said Johnes.

A celebration for the upcoming changing of seasons was majorly effected by the surprisingly heat wave. All local events celebrating the coming of fall were canceled across the city except one. The one event that remained on schedule was an ice sculpting competition put on by the Phoenix Art Museum, unfortunately that ended rather abruptly. Shockingly eight minutes after the blocks of ice were delivered to the sculptors they melted for some reasons. The ice sculpting organizer was quoted as saying “Has to be Global Warming.”

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