The Shockuation Room

In a shocking turn of events, members from: the House, the Senate and the President of the United States all said, “Unemployment is too high.” THEY AGREED ON SOMETHING!

The entire area around Washington D.C. froze and traffic was held in place in an almost supernatural way. After the initial shock and silence, the press slowly came to, from passing out. They couldn’t believe that our leaders could possibly taking a step in the right direction. One of them said, “Wait, they agreed on something?!”

President Obama said at the G20 Summit of the October unemployment numbers, “were positive, but indicate once again that the economy’s growing way too slowly.”

“I’m worried about putting people back to work right now because those folks are hurting and the U.S. economy is under-performing,” he said.

The slight drop in numbers is actually do to the fact that less people were actively seeking employment. In October there were roughly 80,000 jobs created. This is a slight nose dive from September when 103,000 jobs were created.

Anyway let’s get back to this love story that is unfolding before our eyes!

A statement by House Majority Leader Eric Cantor continued this unbelievable stretch of good news that our leaders were agreeing to try things! ANYTHING!! “Today’s jobs numbers show little improvement, and with high unemployment forecast in the year ahead, we must set aside our differences and focus on areas of common ground to create jobs,” said House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, R-Va.

Oh, my, the country could be improving right?! Please don’t tell me there is a catch. Everything is great right? Right?

Yup, everything is great. Unfortunately, members of the press were slapped upside the head and back to reality with the same thing that has been going on for the last three years. Immediately after agreeing that unemployment is too high, different sides then began an elementary style of the blame game. It was far from being cute.

First up in the blame game, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., blamed Republicans for not supporting Obama’s jobs bill.

“Americans are still hurting and Congress needs to remain focused on creating jobs,” Reid said. “Unfortunately, just yesterday Senate Republicans voted unanimously to block a bill that would have put hundreds of thousands of Americans back to work — including 3,300 Nevadans — rebuilding our crumbling roads and bridges and modernizing our air traffic control systems.”

This is pretty original.

NEXT PLEASE!

“Today’s job report underscores the need for immediate action on the more than 15 bipartisan House-passed jobs bills that are gathering dust in the Democratic-controlled Senate,” House Speaker John Boehner (R., Ohio) said at a press conference Friday morning. “There’s no reason — not one — for Senate Democrats to delay action on these bills any longer.”

I feel I must interject here. If you don’t understand the way that Republicans and Democrats believe jobs are created let me try to shine some light on it for you. The President and many Democrats believe that increasing government spending and involvement creates jobs. On the other side of the aisle, the Republicans want less government interference and believe that will spark businesses to hire more workers.

Personally, I don’t know which one is right. However, I would love to see some ideas coming forward that take in account what matters to each side. And even more so, what matters to the people!!!! WOW!!!! I’m dreaming, I know.

Anyway, I went to Pluto to talk to the country’s little known representative from there. Her name was Cee Mefeelme and she was an independent.

“You don’t agree with what my side said, so it’s your fault it’s not improving,” said Junior Congresswoman Cee Mefeelme, I-Pluto. “If you would just totally agree with what I said then everything would be better by now!” continued Cee Mefeelme. She was full of joy. I had to get out of her office for the cyclops that had the next meeting. She told me how much she enjoyed listening to people that could only see one way.

To not stray to far from the fold, Nancy Pelosi immediately had to make it clear that without the democrats and Obama the country would be even worse than it already is. “I think it’s really important to know that President Obama was a job creator from day one,” [Nancy] Pelosi said at a Thursday briefing. ”Now, was the ditch that we were in so deep that when you’re talking to people and they still don’t have a job, that that’s any consolation to them? No.

“But I’ll tell you this,” said Pelosi, “if President Obama and the House congressional Democrats had not acted, we would be at 15 percent unemployment. Again, no consolation to those without a job, but an important point to make.”

An important idea to consider is to ask yourself, just where did Nancy Pelosi pull those numbers? Oh yes, her butt.

That sounds like fun. Let me try.

Without Coyote Rush writing Shockuations the world would have been overrun by androids and robots, forcing us into a battle not unlike Terminator. Again, there is no consolation to those without a job, but an important point to make. Thank God for Coyote Rush!

Anyway, the point is, the right, the left, the middle, the underwater, the hovering in the air, they all need to get it through their heads that to make something work in this country it takes compromises.

It’s amazing how many politicians talk about compromising during their campaign. As soon as they are in their seats on whatever side of the aisle, that’s where you’re going to find them for the rest of their term. Unable to step to the other side and say, I see what you’re saying over there and it actually makes sense. Let’s try to make it work.

Nope, instead we get the oh, the democrats made that, can’t agree. Then the democrats saying, we wrote this bill and the republicans won’t pass it. Well! Have you ever thought about getting together and compromising to a point that you can write a good bill in which both sides feel like they are winning? Wait, that would be the first step. Step two would be writing a bill that actually helped the citizens of the United States of America! What a shock! Unbelievable idea, unfathomable really.

Whatever.

Democrats- Shut Up.

Republicans- Shut up.

Now go to the center and share your toys.

Coyote Rush